The Juggling Act

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I have a confession to make. I am feeling rather guilty about not spending as much quality time with my guy, Chris, as I did before Lola. Ok, I do know that’s normal and she is at the stage where she needs a mama 24 hours a day. Don’t get me wrong, I so very much enjoy all the fun we have together, and literally BASK in the role of new mother, and at times I am so happy in it I think I’ll explode! But there is something to be said for spending at least a little quality time with the man I love. We may see each other for about 10 to 30 minutes a few times a week after Lola and I come home from school and work in the afternoon (my house has become his ‘temporary office’ for now until he finds a new location for his business) but it’s usually a quick hello and how-was-your-day-kind-of-thing and then Lola and I are off on some new adventure and he’s either off to a business meeting or Bible Study group. Chris and I used to have some really amazing conversations about all kinds of things - - he’s very well-read and quite fun to talk to. He really loves Lola and her sense of humor and he admires her creativity. That is one of the many things I find so attractive about him. He’s too amazing to neglect, yet my daughter needs me full time at this stage and I need her too. I pray every day that he remains patient with me until I get this juggling act perfected to everyone’s satisfaction (if that is possible). Perhaps God will help me find a path through this.

Lola is not quite as keen about having a bond with a male figure as much as she desires one with a female. That is quite understandable, as the numerous people at the orphanage were, for the most part, female. She told me the other day that Chris treats her like a little girl (I didn’t have the heart to correct her and tell her that she IS still a little girl and I want her to be one for at least a couple more years!!) and not a young woman. The strange thing is, I do see the two of them interact and she appears to be having fun with him at times… maybe all I need to do is give it time.